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Alive and present

Mental health awareness week ran from the 9 - 15th May and the theme for this year is loneliness.  Here are a few startling statistics:

  • A survey by Action for Children found that 43% of 17 – 25 year olds who used their service had experienced problems with loneliness.
  • Action for Children have also reported 24% of parents surveyed said they were always or often lonely
  • Research by Sense has shown that up to 50% of disabled people will be lonely on any given day. 
  • Half a million older people go at least five or six days a week without seeing or speaking to anyone at all.

We also know that for many people lock down has made their loneliness and resulting mental health issues much worse.   For example, Beat (UK's eating  disorder charity) saw an 81% rise in enquiries to their services in the early months of lockdown.  

Our mind's 'doing' mode is the mode of efficiency - the mode in which we get things done in the material world. When we are not...

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What contributes to a life worth living?

Last October an influencer of mine, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a Hungarian American psychologist, passed away.  He wrote the book 'Flow: The Psychology of the Optimal Experience'.  

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times . . . The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile”

(Csikszentmihalyi, 1990).

There is an idea that if you just had a bigger house or more money you would be happier.  However, it has been proven that once your basis needs are met, having more of the above does not guarantee happiness.  The ideal state of 'flow' comes when you are in the zone where your level of challenge and skills are equally matched. If you are too challenged it can cause anxiety or if you are not using your skills you are bored.  For example, watching Netflix every night is low challenge/ low...

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How Can You Future Proof Your Life?

Well I am back after a few weeks away from blogging. This week I have chosen the theme of 'How can you Future Proof you Life'?  We hear from one of our Master Practitioners who has used NLP to do just that.  And, an important announcement.  So stick around for the whole event!  First let's hear from Rak...

My name is Rak Ladwa, I am a full-time landlord and investor and I’ve also just turned 50!  I chose NLP as a tool to help me overcome blocks from the past and limiting decisions in the present. I wanted to think more positively, to have focus, overcome daily challenges and also set my goals and ambitions for the future.

I’ve known for a long time that certain events from the past have always haunted me daily, events from my childhood, growing up in my teenage years and throughout my young adulthood. Recently in the last 10 years, I was challenged by family politics that's left me in a state that I had experienced growing up of...

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What changes would you make if you knew you couldn't fail?

It doesn’t matter how you have lived your life until this moment. All that matters is what your dreams are, what you ache for in the future. The only moment is now. Living in the past can slow us down as much as worrying about the future. Change can happen in an instant, in the blink of an eye or the click of a finger, once you have made a decision to go for it. Think about it – you start to create your future as soon as you make a decision.

 I’m curious to know, could your life be better? Ask yourself the following questions to find out:

  • Am I getting what I want out of life? 
  • Do I have stretching goals for the future? 
  • Am I reaching my full potential? 
  • Am I fulfilled by my work? 
  • Is my relationship the way I dreamed about? 
  • Do I have enough money to do what I want to do with my life? 
  • Is my life in balance? 
  • Am I happy with my body shape? 
  • Do I have enough energy to enjoy my day? 

If you answered...

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What would happen if you changed what you believe is possible?

‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

How was your week? Have you downloaded our free Introduction to NLP course yet?  If not, the details are at the end of this blog.  Join the growing group of people who have already made a decision to improve their lives as we come out of lockdown.  

This week I want to talk about our beliefs - particularly what you believe about yourself.  I love the quote at the start of this blog as it is so true.  We choose what we believe about ourselves, although of course, many of these beliefs are formed early on in our lives, and, at an unconscious level.  We do not consciously say to ourselves this is what I am going to believe about myself.  Our beliefs evolve over our lives and then we forget they are just generalisations or something that was true for us back then.  The important thing to remember is that it doesn't need to be the same now.  You know...

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Do you overthink yourself out of making a change in your life?

What is holding you back from making changes to your life big or small? 

I’ve noticed, especially as we come out of lockdown, clients, family and friends overthinking an opportunity.  Maybe it's because many of us have had too much time on our hands and in our heads. So what happens is that you end up overthinking every little problem to do with the change until it becomes bigger and scarier than it actually is.  And, you even overthink the positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore (and as the anxiety starts to build).  Or you over analyse and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, of course, thinking things through can be useful and getting lost in the negatives of what might happen rather the positives leads to standing still.  Have you ever thought that you have no choices until you make one?!  The risk is that you spend your life in your head...

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How to be happier living in the now

How was your week?  We are living in limbo at the moment in between houses and it is easy to worry about whether our new purchase is going to happen and about things that haven't happened yet and may never happen.  I started to think about how important it is to live in the present moment.  There is only now.  Our experience during each second of our lives is about what is happening now.  If we think about the past, we are remembering the experience in the present moment.  And, if we worry about the future it is our imagination making up a memory that consists of thoughts and feelings about something that hasn't happened yet and may never happen.  Again, we experience it in the now.  Given the fast pace and hectic schedules most of us keep, a base level of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness is the new norm. You may not even realise it, but this tendency to get sucked into the past and the future can leave you perpetually worn out and feeling out...

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What's Stopping You?

How are you this week?  Have you ventured out and enjoyed being in the (rather chilly) outdoors?  We have had a couple of outside meals and it was amazing how we adapted to eating outside albeit with several layers on!  We looked rather like the Michelin man....still it was worth it to be with friends and enjoy wonderful restaurant food again.   

I was wondering what to write about this week and I reflected back on a couple of conversations I have had with people not yet ready to create the changes they want in their lives.  After lockdown, we each have an ideal opportunity to re-evaluate where we are in our lives and make some choices about what is going well for us and what we may want to change.  The interesting question for me is why people favour the status quo rather than make any shifts?  

The Beckhard-Harris Change Equation is normally used in the workplace but it struck me that it also works for us as individuals too and it...

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Who Do You Think You Are? A Gift for Mothering Sunday

Our weekly Team NLP blog where you will find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience, and connections in our unprecedented times.

Well we finally moved out of our house on the 8th March and into temporary accommodation as we finalise our search.  It is quite liberating being in this in between place as it creates space in the mind to consider new things. I also found that the stuff I sent to the auction did really well....and yet it has been hidden away doing nothing for years.  I am going to buy myself a reward this week and then the rest can go towards the house move.  I can feel a nice new hand bag coming on.  So de-cluttering your life really does de-clutter your mind.  

This week I want to talk about how to prepare yourself for coming out of lockdown. 

Are you ready?  

What are you focusing on?  what thoughts are you having?  Your thoughts are your perceptions about the world.  If...

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De-Cluttering Your Life and Your Mind

Our weekly Team NLP blog where you will find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience, and connections in our unprecedented times.

This week has been hectic for me and full of useful learnings as always!  We finally exchanged on our house sale  and will be off for a new adventure on the 8th March.  It has been a busy time of sorting out the loft, garage and every cupboard as we have very little storage in the new house.  I have found de-cluttering a really cathartic process.  It is very freeing to make choices to let go of things that have cluttered our lives for years.  It was time to let go of many boxes of inherited china, old work files, brochures for courses we no longer run, university papers and general rubbish. It has been fun to see the piles of things to go to the dump get bigger and bigger and the satisfaction of emptying the car into those vast containers early on a Sunday morning.  I also have put...

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