Do you overthink yourself out of making a change in your life?

health mindset motivation wellbeing May 02, 2021
making a change in your life - nlp training courses

What is holding you back from making changes to your life big or small? 

I’ve noticed, especially as we come out of lockdown, clients, family and friends overthinking an opportunity.  Maybe it's because many of us have had too much time on our hands and in our heads. So what happens is that you end up overthinking every little problem to do with the change until it becomes bigger and scarier than it actually is.  And, you even overthink the positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore (and as the anxiety starts to build).  Or you over analyse and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, of course, thinking things through can be useful and getting lost in the negatives of what might happen rather the positives leads to standing still.  Have you ever thought that you have no choices until you make one?!  The risk is that you spend your life in your head catastrophising about what would happen if...rather than just getting on with it and enjoying the change.  

I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.  In fact, I have noticed myself doing the same thing again with our current house move!  At least now I can stop myself with the tools I have learnt through NLP.

In this blog I'd like to share the things I have learnt using NLP to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.  

Step 1 - Remember your Overall Goal

It's very easy to lose sight of your goal when you overthink the minor things in life.  So when you are overthinking about something that has taken over your life ask yourself....will this matter next month or next year?  What is the impact of this on my overall goal?  Do I have a clear enough goal? Often this helps to shift your focus onto things that are useful and will support your goal. Remember, whatever you focus on grows in your thought processes so focus on what you want!

Step 2 - Set a Time Limit

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for far too long.  You can become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it's a small or bigger decision.  Ask yourself, what is a reasonable deadline for this decision - is it by the end of the day?  Next week? Be specific and then challenge yourself to stick to it! 

Step 3 - Become a Person of Action 

When you get started on something there is less time for overthinking.  As soon as you make a decision thing begin to change and set a direction.  Taking small steps forward and focusing on one small thing at a time can help because you are no longer in overwhelm and procrastination.  And, a course of action can be adjusted.  Ask yourself 'what's the worse thing that can happen?'.  And, if you know how to deal with that then get on with it!

Step 4 - Rely on Evidence and What is Real

Another trap it's easy to fall into is getting lost in vague fears about a situation in your life.  Then the mind is running wild and creating disaster scenarios about what might happen.  When you notice yourself doing this ask the question 'what is my evidence for this?'.  If there is none then let it go and move on.  Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and worrying.

Step 5 - Focus on what you can control

 

It is common to worry about things outside of your control.  No matter how much time and energy you spend on these things they will not change.  Focus on what you can control.  However, truly stepping out of the grey zone does involve stretching yourself out of your comfort zone.  This is where your vision for the future will help you take these first steps.  In NLP we talk about 'there is no failure only feedback'.  I have found this mantra very helpful over the years when I have taken risks and tried out new ideas - especially those that didn't go quite to plan!  

 

If you need help and support in making any life changes, our next NLP Practitioner course begins on the 19th June.  You will find all the details here:

https://team-nlp-b8ee.mykajabi.com/team-nlp-practitioner-course

Enjoy your week.

Lindsey and all at Team NLP