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How to thrive in challenging circumstances

Uncategorized Aug 07, 2022

In this environment it is not necessarily the best time to make drastic changes in your life unless you have to.   When I started my NLP business in 2000 I was a single parent and not in a position to throw caution to the wind and give up my corporate consulting career. However, what I could do was to start small and build in the background, quietly testing out a few ideas.  My first NLP courses were held in my local village hall to keep costs down.  My students didn't mind...in fact they enjoyed coming out to the countryside and getting discounted rates!  As my 'side hustle' took off I could become more courageous in what I did and finally I did move out of my corporate career but only once I knew I could at least replace my monthly take home pay.  

It is ok to start small and build. If you want to lose weight, start by taking one thing and changing it.  Maybe you remove one unhealthy item from your diet and replace it with something much...

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Are you on track?

Believe it or not, we’re more than halfway through 2022.  What does this trigger in you?  Are you doing well or are your ambitions for the year far from realised? Perhaps you still feel that you are catching up with time since COVID exploded all manner of norms and routine? If so, know you are not alone. 

By challenging your progress to date this year, I want to take you back to your original intentions at the start of the year.  Ask yourself honestly, what has gone well so far, what hasn't happened yet and what can you learn from each of these questions? Moments like this, as artificial as time is, give us a chance to refocus our awareness for the rest of the year.  It was Tony Robbins who said that 'Where focus goes energy flows'. So where is your focus?  What needs to change or get even better? 

In the next few weeks, in addition to taking some necessary holiday rest, find some time to pause, reflect, and align on the best use of the...

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You can have what you want

mindset nlp wellbeing Jul 10, 2022

Many people that I know believe that they will be happy when they get what they want.  Their goals in life are made up of things they believe will 'make' them happy.  This idea has been with us for as long as I can remember.  As we grow up we watch Disney films and are led to believe that once our prince or princess arrives we will live happily ever after.  Or once we get that job or that car we will find true happiness.  In fact many people are willing to endure hardship on their journey to success because they plan on using the pot of gold to buy the feelings of happiness and fulfilment that they desire.

What if you were to finish this sentence for yourself:

'I'll be happy when...''

What did you answer?  Maybe it was when I have enough money or when I get a better job.  I asked a client of mine recently 'How much is enough?'  It was a question they didn't know how to answer.  It's something that we challenge in NLP ie that when we...

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What keeps you going?

inspiration nlp resilience Jun 26, 2022

At a time when the world around us is not doing well what can we do to keep ourselves going?  How do we centre ourselves at a time like this?  It's a question that I ask myself regularly and its a question that I discuss with my clients as many of us are cycling through fight, flight, and freeze responses faster than we can finish a cup of coffee.  I have just come back from a week away with my family in the Scottish Highlands.  Two adult children, daughter-in-law, new born granddaughter, two dogs as well as my husband!  It's not been an easy year so far with some health issues for a couple of family members balanced by the love for our new arrival, Matilda.  It was the first time we have taken a holiday altogether for over 10 years.  What a delightful and wonderful mix of laughter, complete chaos, exploration, eating together, baby sitting,  picnics, scenic walks and the joy of being together.  I have been watching the six seasons...

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Feel better any time any place

Uncategorized Jun 05, 2022

Over the last four days in the UK we have celebrated 70 years of the reign of Queen Elizabeth.  I have enjoyed the pageantry and the nostalgia.  The concert outside the palace last night was a marvellous mix of the old and the new.  And, the procession today brought back all sorts of wonderfully positive memories.  I found myself transported back to a time of my early years.  I especially loved seeing Valerie Singleton, Peter Purves and Peter Duncan on the 60's bus from my favourite childens programme 'Blue Peter'.  In fact, coincidentally I only came across all my old Blue Peter albums yesterday as we unpacked the final few boxes after our recent move.  The memories that I was instantly transported back to made me feel happy and optimistic.  

In the same way, we learn with NLP that we can bring into the ‘now’ positive states we have experienced from the past. For example, any occasion in the past when we have felt...

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Alive and present

Mental health awareness week ran from the 9 - 15th May and the theme for this year is loneliness.  Here are a few startling statistics:

  • A survey by Action for Children found that 43% of 17 – 25 year olds who used their service had experienced problems with loneliness.
  • Action for Children have also reported 24% of parents surveyed said they were always or often lonely
  • Research by Sense has shown that up to 50% of disabled people will be lonely on any given day. 
  • Half a million older people go at least five or six days a week without seeing or speaking to anyone at all.

We also know that for many people lock down has made their loneliness and resulting mental health issues much worse.   For example, Beat (UK's eating  disorder charity) saw an 81% rise in enquiries to their services in the early months of lockdown.  

Our mind's 'doing' mode is the mode of efficiency - the mode in which we get things done in the material world. When we are not...

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The Power and Challenge of Your Autopilot

health mindfulness mindset May 08, 2022

Autopilot is the opposite of mindfulness.  In fact a study by Duke University back in 2006 found that nearly half of all our behaviour is automatic.  This means you get triggered by an unconscious thought and off you go adopting a habitual behaviour.  Does this sound familiar?  So, autopilot is a state of mind disengaged from the present and stuck in the habits of the past.  Letting go of our automatic behaviour enables us to escape the pull of the past, and offers us a better chance of happiness.  We often reflect on how we felt or feel about past experiences and try to apply our conclusions to attain happier outcomes in the future.  The problem occurs when we repeat this process automatically, offering the same emotional reactions to similar situations, even though the outcome last time was far from ideal.

When on autopilot, the mind steals it reactions from the past.  We don' realise that when we are in auto-pilot mode that we have a...

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What does Netflix have to do with changing behaviour?

goals personal change Apr 24, 2022

How are you? 

I was asked recently to appear as a guest in a podcast for 'Change Out Loud'.  I always find them such fun and this one was no exception.  The panelists Adnan and Kara asked me to speak about a topic which I love - 'What does it take to shift behaviour?' 

In an ideal world behaviour change would happen like this…

‘’I know exercise is good for me

Therefore, I am going for a run’’

Wouldn’t it be great if as humans we react positively and change when we learn something that could be good for us?

But, more often we know that we should do something but we choose not to…

‘’I know exercise is good for me’’

‘’But I prefer to stay at home and watch Netflix’’

Why is this?  

I want to talk about an important concept from neuro-science which explains why behaviour change is such as challenge for us. Often the heart and mind do not agree!  The brain has two...

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How you think can make your pain worse

health mindset wellbeing Apr 10, 2022

How have the last two weeks been for you? 

I read a very interesting article called 'How you think about physical pain can make it worse'.  It's by Meryl Davids Landau referencing the work of Vitaly Napadow, a neuro scientist at Harvard Medical School.  It confirms the mind-body link that we NLP'ers have known and spoken about for many years.  With so many people searching for alternative approaches beyond the pharmaceutical options, this approach brings new hope.  One patient who had been in pain for 18 years was taught what is called 'pain reprocessing therapy'.  The goal was to reprogramme his brain by teaching him that his ongoing agony was not caused by lingering tissue injury but by misfiring neural circuits related to his dread of pain or what is often called 'catastrophising'.  

What the research has shown is that those people who 'catastrophise' in their heads about their pain thinking it will never get better, that it's going to be...

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A Useful Tool for Managing Stress Part 2

In my blog of the 20th February, I spoke about the science behind how to turn everyday stress into optimal stress.  Since then we have had the war break out in Ukraine and our levels of stress are once again at peak levels as we pray for the people of Ukraine and take the action we can personally take to support the war effort.  I have been especially distressed by the photos of the men (and women) of Ukraine leaving their families behind to go to the front line.  As a mother I am anxious for the future safety of my own children.   

I have been reflecting on what Team NLP can do to help.  So today I have a thought challenging tip for you and an idea about how we can support the Ukrainian refugees arriving in the UK. 

Firstly, the tip for you...

Anxiety is best described as the unhelpful thinking patterns you experience when your mind fixates on threat, uncertainty and negativity.  This technique helps by broadening your focus to include a...

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