Dare To Be Different

inspiration motivation Jul 02, 2023

The Grey Zone

“People often end up feeling that their lives have been wasted, that instead of being filled with happiness their years were spent in anxiety and boredom.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

I describe the Grey Zone as that place where many people spend their entire lives – it’s not awful and it’s certainly not brilliant. It’s OK and it’s the place where people are prepared to sell out on their dreams for a comfortable existence. What a waste of a life! Often people are happy in the Grey Zone but that’s because they don’t know any other way of living. Over the years spent coaching and training many people, I have realised that most of the population settle for second best because they haven’t got the courage to do anything about changing their situation. There’s a saying: ‘If you always do what you’ve always done you always get what you’ve always got.’ That’s the mantra of those who live their lives in the Grey Zone. Life in the Grey Zone feels familiar, comfortable, unfulfilling and stuck, and those in the Grey Zone do not feel they have any choice but to remain where they are.

Why do people stay in the Grey Zone? Often it is a feeling of fear. We are scared of moving into the unknown, of doing something different. Fear comes from limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and our abilities. In fact, the consequences of our making a change are often built up in our minds to mean something far worse than the actual reality of the situation. Here’s a great acronym for fear:





Our minds are brilliant at creating the worst case scenario in our heads, and then that’s what we begin to focus on as our reality. Soon we forget that it’s not true. We make huge assumptions about what may or may not be true based upon our belief systems.  And guess what? Our beliefs are generalisations passed on to us by those who influenced us in our early years. They are not real. The reality is very different if we are prepared to find out and start the journey. It takes one of two things to move people out of the Grey Zone. Either you have a goal that is so compelling you will take the risk of going for it. Or, in contrast, the pain becomes so great that you are finally tipped over the edge of change. 

What's one thing you'd like to change if you could?  What is holding you back?  What would it take for you to make a small move out of the grey zone?   It's easy to get overwhelmed by the cost of living crisis in the UK yet there are still so many opportunities out there.  There is an abundant job market, more techniques for getting healthy than ever and lots of free advice everywhere you look. Make a commitment to yourself to dare to be different and move outside of the crowd today.  

Here is a link to our free Introduction to NLP course where we will help you to make the shift.  What are you waiting for?


Have a great week,

Lindsey, founder of Team NLP