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What's Stopping You?

How are you this week?  Have you ventured out and enjoyed being in the (rather chilly) outdoors?  We have had a couple of outside meals and it was amazing how we adapted to eating outside albeit with several layers on!  We looked rather like the Michelin man....still it was worth it to be with friends and enjoy wonderful restaurant food again.   

I was wondering what to write about this week and I reflected back on a couple of conversations I have had with people not yet ready to create the changes they want in their lives.  After lockdown, we each have an ideal opportunity to re-evaluate where we are in our lives and make some choices about what is going well for us and what we may want to change.  The interesting question for me is why people favour the status quo rather than make any shifts?  

The Beckhard-Harris Change Equation is normally used in the workplace but it struck me that it also works for us as individuals too and it provides us with a formula for change.  Of course real life is messy and complex and it still gives us some clues as to when we do and do not choose to take action.  Here is the model:


D refers to dissatisfaction with your current situation. Is it bad enough, or unproductive enough, that you recognise the need for change of some kind? 


V refers to vision.  Do you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve or do differently?  If you have, it is motivating you to take the first step? 

First Steps

F refers to first steps. Do you know what to do to take those first steps towards making a change in your life? And, is it realistic and achievable? To keep motivated, every bit of your goal should be within reach albeit stretching for you.  

Resistance to Change

R refers to resistance.  We dislike change.  Even after all the necessary reasons for the change have been thought about there is generally at least some natural resistance which remains. 

We are generally more motivated by avoiding losses than we are of making gains and improvements. It is much simpler to take no risks, retain the status quo as it is, than to alter it entirely.

Where are you? 

It's rather like a set of scales, it is only when the dissatisfaction, vision and first steps are greater than the resistance to change that you will take action.  In NLP we also call it secondary gain....which is when the benefits of doing nothing appear greater than the benefits of changing.  

So if you are coming out of lockdown feeling frustrated with yourself as you want to change but are not sure how, then ask yourself, which of D/V or F is not yet strong enough for you?  What can you do to change how you feel? 

If you need help and support in making any life changes, our next NLP Practitioner course begins on the 19th June.  You will find all the details here:

Enjoy your week.

Lindsey and Team NLP


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