Learning to live your true lifeJun 20, 2021
So happy to be back blogging this week after a few weeks of moving house and getting back on line.
As I wondered what to write about this week I was reminded about a client session I am delivering this week on being authentic in the workplace and it got me thinking about the importance of living our real lives. To help prepare for my session I listened to a keynote delivered by Gareth Thomas. If you haven't listened to any of his talks on YouTube I would encourage you to do so. He talks about how his performance had been affected by the weight of hiding his sexuality and how being willing to be vulnerable is not a weakness rather the difference between being good and great. He said he was performing at about 70% with the weight of what he was carrying and hiding. Now he operates at 100% and feels free. When asked about what advice he would give a 10 year old version of himself he said that we all go through life trying to please others but the reality is that it will not happen and the strain of being liked but at the same time being inauthentic is too much for many people.
So what do we actually mean by the word authentic? I like the definition that being authentic means an alignment between our internal sense of self and our external behaviour. In other words we can be ourselves without having to pretend or hide anything.
Of course it isn't always that easy to be authentic. In the workplace and in our personal relationships we often expend lots of energy hiding the truth which affects our well-being and our performance. Gareth described it as 'opening the curtains on a lie'. This could happen in so many ways....staying in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, keeping a secret about what is important to you, laughing at your bosses inappropriate behaviour and cringing at the same time inside. In a corporate environment, do you play the politics or be authentic? In your personal life do you keep quiet about who you are and what you want to keep the peace? Whatever, it is think about what would need to happen for you to take the first step towards opening your own curtains. Clearly, it is important to create an environment where it's ok to be authentic, where it is safe to do so. It takes courage to be real. This process may help. It is called 'I can't to I can choose'.
- Where you are now - I can’t tell them how I really feel.
- Where you take personal responsibility for your choices - I choose not to tell them how I feel.
- Where you start to feel empowered to make a change - Until now I have chosen not to tell them how I feel
It moves you from a place a helplessness to a place of choice. Good luck! Of course, NLP helps to build our confidence to be authentic. If you haven't signed up for our free Intro to NLP here's the link:
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Wishing you success.
Lindsey and all at Team NLP