Be kind...

Do you know what the opposite to stress is?  You might answer peace or calm. These are the most common answers.  Whilst they do represent the absence of stress but they are not the right answer.  The opposite of stress is the experience of kindness.

Do you know that anyone who has had a heart attack?  If you do, tell them about this statistic which I learned from Dr David Hamilton in his talk about how the mind heals the body in Canterbury last week.  He told us that your chance of experiencing a second heart attack within a year of your first is 400% less if you have a dog. It's because when you have a kindness experiences the brain generates kindness hormones.  It dials up the experience in the brain.  Practising kindness dials down stress.  And, if you do this consistently it builds neuro-plasticity because the pre-frontal cortex region of the brain changes to make positive states more accessible to you. Another study which David mentioned, was regarding two groups of 200 patients dealing with hypertension, who were each were given a sum of money to spend.  Fifty per cent of the group were told to spend it on themselves and other fifty per cent to spend their money to help others. At the end of three weeks, the group who had helped others had lower blood pressure than their counterparts. 

So, how do we take the time to be kinder? 

It's not hard to do. Being kind simply means to be kind as you go about your life. Be mindful of how you treat people. Be mindful of what you say and how you say it. And in being mindful, focus yourself towards kindness.

Also, don't mind read situations as you never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. For example, I remember recently when a client continually yawned throughout our meeting.  Later, I learned they were caring for a sick child and had barely slept. Often, despite the smiles we wear and the front we show to the world, many people are struggling inside. Encourage each other. Support each other. Be a friend. Listen. Be present in people’s lives. Really present. The world needs radiators rather than drains! 

It’s these seemingly little things that matter most because these are the things we do most often. And they are the glue that holds society together. And even though they may seem like small things, it’s often later in life that we come to realise that they were in fact the big things.  

If you do any meditation practices give at least some time to focusing on thinking compassionately or kindly. For example, focus on a handful of phrases as we think of others. Some common ones are ‘May you be happy’, ‘May you be healthy’, ‘May you be well’, ‘May you live with ease’. For instance, you can say these phrases as you sit in meditation, or silently repeat them while going about your daily life. It’s a simple yet powerful way to integrate kindness into daily life.

Of course, NLP teaches us a model for the brain which helps us to build rapport and be curious about other people. In my experience, being kind helps our clients get the very best outcome for themselves and helps us to be the very best coaches and teachers that we can be. 

If you'd like to know more about NLP and you want to build on your NLP skill-set we are running our next NLP Practitioner from the 19th April 2026 and our next Master Practitioner from the 4th January 2026.  For more information here's a useful link to our schedule:

https://www.teamnlp.co.uk/schedule

Have a great week and be kind!

Warm wishes

Lindsey and the Team at Team NLP.